That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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