come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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