Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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