It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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