I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
