i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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