got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
