im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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