did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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