yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
