if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
