just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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