U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
