Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
