Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
