3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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