this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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