Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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