I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
