that's an acceptable place to lick
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
this is an emotional support booty call
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
