The police scanner is talking about you again....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
