She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize