At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
