Sober January is a disaster.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
