I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
