Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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