does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
how drunk are you?
Several
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
