i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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