..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
