He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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