your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just found puke in my bra..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
