ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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