you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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