Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
