you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
