yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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