Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize