I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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