Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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