i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
