so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
