..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
