just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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