i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
