A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize