Where did you get a picture of my penis
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
