Where did you get a picture of my penis
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
