hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
