How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
