end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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