Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just google imaged poop.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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