is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
