Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
