My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
