just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
