it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
