I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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