the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
