hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
