i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
