My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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