Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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