I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
